A journaling of life with Grandma, as she jouneys to the land she knows not...called Alzheimers

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

quiet

Such a quiet face
A smile hidden just beneath the surface

Bright eyes that laugh
but just a little

Words that float into the air
but fall to the ground

Laughter ebbs and flows when it wills
Tired eyes play the game of hide and seek

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Things lost

She quietly and slowly shuffles to the living room...

her great grandaughter notices her and desires to help out
and asks what she needs...

and in a raspy voice Great-Grandma replies
"I am looking for my voice"

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Journey

The night is young and the house is quiet
She lay in her bed asleep

Does she know the day, the hour, the season

The minutes and days
they all become one

It is a journey that's been prolonged and the end is never warned

She continues forward the best she can as the past becomes her today

If only there was a map, we could set a course

Then maybe the waters would not be so rocky

But since this is not the case...I will walk the journey with her.

Lord, help me not become weary

And when I am..help me rely on You

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Dusk

Whispers of prayers are spoken in the night
from inside the heart
Where and when no one hears

There are no tears
Only an island, a ship on the open ocean
a solitary bird floating on the wind

Who knows the pain
shares the grief

Is it spoken
Is it held inside

It is not like a flower that grows
But a weariness that lurks on the doorstep
keeping your senses alive in the dark

Thursday, October 6, 2011

This House

Somewhere within these walls are locked
The beautiful highs and lows of a worn violin

In these walls are the whispered prayers
for many come and gone

On these floors have fallen many tears
for pains unspoken
for yearning prayers

In the air is the laughter of lovers
sharing decades of stories filled with joy,
pains...some well know
some locked away in the heart



In this ground was planted many seed
tilled many hours
grown through much love



Through this house has past much love
In this house love still grows



Tears still fall

Pains still groan

Ground still moved

Secrets still held

and best

laughter still rises

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

quality

I wish I could paint a picture for you
make a movie
write abook

Put it all down so
you could take it all back in
live it again

I wish I could find all the puzzle pieces
I wish I knew what the picture it is you are seeing

Really, it is not the quantity
It's the quality

The moments with you are not so vast
but they are quality

I will try and remember that
and to tell my children

Monday, October 3, 2011

purple is green

Purple is green
in my world of red

Where grief is always good
just like I said

Then you took from me,
What I was not done with

You sat it down and said "Why don't you eat a bit?"
Well, which is it?

water is candy and sweet to the tongue
milk is my tea
and juice makes me smile

But please be careful with the fan
or I shall burn till I freeze

What was your name?
Cali, Sally..oh..Kelly
I have known you a long time haven't I?
Thirty-seven years, I thought so
I love you too