Things lost

She quietly and slowly shuffles to the living room...

her great grandaughter notices her and desires to help out
and asks what she needs...

and in a raspy voice Great-Grandma replies
"I am looking for my voice"

The Journey

The night is young and the house is quiet
She lay in her bed asleep

Does she know the day, the hour, the season

The minutes and days
they all become one

It is a journey that's been prolonged and the end is never warned

She continues forward the best she can as the past becomes her today

If only there was a map, we could set a course

Then maybe the waters would not be so rocky

But since this is not the case...I will walk the journey with her.

Lord, help me not become weary

And when I am..help me rely on You

Dusk

Whispers of prayers are spoken in the night
from inside the heart
Where and when no one hears

There are no tears
Only an island, a ship on the open ocean
a solitary bird floating on the wind

Who knows the pain
shares the grief

Is it spoken
Is it held inside

It is not like a flower that grows
But a weariness that lurks on the doorstep
keeping your senses alive in the dark

This House

Somewhere within these walls are locked
The beautiful highs and lows of a worn violin

In these walls are the whispered prayers
for many come and gone

On these floors have fallen many tears
for pains unspoken
for yearning prayers

In the air is the laughter of lovers
sharing decades of stories filled with joy,
pains...some well know
some locked away in the heart



In this ground was planted many seed
tilled many hours
grown through much love



Through this house has past much love
In this house love still grows



Tears still fall

Pains still groan

Ground still moved

Secrets still held

and best

laughter still rises

quality

I wish I could paint a picture for you
make a movie
write abook

Put it all down so
you could take it all back in
live it again

I wish I could find all the puzzle pieces
I wish I knew what the picture it is you are seeing

Really, it is not the quantity
It's the quality

The moments with you are not so vast
but they are quality

I will try and remember that
and to tell my children

purple is green

Purple is green
in my world of red

Where grief is always good
just like I said

Then you took from me,
What I was not done with

You sat it down and said "Why don't you eat a bit?"
Well, which is it?

water is candy and sweet to the tongue
milk is my tea
and juice makes me smile

But please be careful with the fan
or I shall burn till I freeze

What was your name?
Cali, Sally..oh..Kelly
I have known you a long time haven't I?
Thirty-seven years, I thought so
I love you too

my words

Can you catch the word in front of me...can you not see it there?
The letters hang on my hair, my tongue...like a cloud they float around and taunt me like a child.

They surround me like a shroud...sometimes too tight...sometimes too loose, like a cut strand of pearls...falling one by one.....

The words fight me like an enemy and hang on me like a child drowning....simultaneously.

Can you help me?
Can you raise my words from the dead,
can you bring life to them with your pen?

Your glasses

If only I could wear your glasses..I would see the world as you do.
I would understand why you say and do the things you do.

Why you look at me with lost eyes, eyes that are searching me as if you want me to say the words.
Why you struggle and stummble over your words while I nod my head like I understand clearly.

Why sometime you go to bed with your shoes on and not under the sheets, just the top blanket.
Sometimes the dog is a cat and the kids are critters.
One day you miss Grandpa and yet another you mention thee men you married and they are gone now.

What stories weave in your mind? They change from moment to moment as the pages move.
What will catch you attention today? What will frustrate you and be difficult to explain?
I try and remember to borrow your glasses and see your world as you do...but sometimes they too are lost.
Will will need to try and have patience with one another. I will try and have enough patience for the both of us.

I am your Granddaughter

I know that my face may not be as familiar as it was yesterday
and your bed may be foreign to you as well
But I will make sure that you have what you need when you need it
At least I will do my best
I know I cannot ask you to be patient with me..
I will just have to tell myself to try and have more patience
We are both far from perfect but we are family whether you remember or not..but that’s ok
I love you regardless and will be here for you as long as I possibly can
Who am I you ask?
I am the one who tucks you in at night
The one who helps you change
I am the one who gets you tissue when you seem to need it
I am the one who watches out for you
It is not just me but my husband and your great grandkids…
We all watch over you and care for you…and we love you and laugh with you...just as you are
I have not always been here…but I am here now Grandma
Who am I?
I am your Granddaughter.
Your words echo in the walls of this old house Grandma…and I listen to them
They say to keep my eyes focused on our Provider…to not lose hope and sight of who He is
Your eyes and your body may be tired…but your spirit is strong.
Thank you for laying the foundation…
Even though now you look at me with questions in your eyes
I am your granddaughter.

All I need

A bit of sugar in my tea
keeps me sweet

Light by my bed at night
so I can read

A hug from time to time
tells me that you love me

A few words shared
encourages me

Simply smiling as you pass by
helps my heart feel free